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  A month ago, I couldn’t even get a science nerd to ask me out and now I had two gorgeous guys vying for my attention. It was surreal. I had no idea what had happened or what I was going to do.

  ***

  I was exhausted when I got back to my apartment. When my cell phone rang, I barely had enough energy to answer it but I was shocked to see on the call display that it was Mya, I had to know what she wanted.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Sorry to phone so late,” Mya apologized. “I just wanted to know if we could get together tomorrow. Maybe get a cup of coffee of something.”

  I could tell by the tone of her voice something was wrong. She sounded anxious. But we barely knew each other. Why would she be phoning me?

  Unless there was something wrong with Sawyer…

  “Sure,” I said. “Where would you like to meet?”

  She gave me the address of a coffee shop that wasn’t too far from campus. It wasn’t one I frequented but I had been there a few times. “Maybe we could meet around ten?” She suggested. “That way we’ll avoid both the breakfast and lunch crowds.”

  “Sounds good,” I replied then hung up.

  My mind raced for possible reasons why she could have called. She didn’t sound like she wanted to get into it on the phone, so I didn’t push but my curiosity was piqued.

  I guess I’d just have to wait to hear what she had to say.

  ***

  Mya was right. Ten was a great time to meet. The coffee shop was nearly empty except for one older man sitting by himself in the corner reading a newspaper. It wasn’t very often you saw people reading actual newspapers anymore. Most people read the news in some type of electronic format.

  Mya waved as she hurried into the shop. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long,” she said breathlessly. “The guys had an emergency practice this morning so I had to drop Grace off at my mom’s.”

  As soon as she said guys and practice, my thoughts immediately went to Sawyer and how sexy he looked when he was playing basketball.

  “What would you like?” Mya asked as we both stared at the menu hanging overhead. “It’s my treat.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I protested.

  She smiled. “I dragged you down here on a Saturday morning. The least I can do is buy your coffee.”

  I gave her my order and she bought two Cinnamon Dolce Lattes. When the coffees were ready, we each grabbed one and carried them over to a table near the back of the place.

  “Thanks for meeting with me.” Mya smiled but I could see she had a lot on her mind.

  “I was a little surprised you called,” I admitted. “But I’m glad.”

  “Me, too.”

  We both took a sip of our coffees. I wanted so badly to ask her how Sawyer was doing. But I waited for her to speak first.

  She took in a deep breath and then said. “I’m worried about Sawyer.”

  Her words hit me like a knee to the stomach. “Why?” was all I managed to get out.

  She swallowed as if to give herself time to choose her words carefully. “He’s in bad shape, Maggie. I’ve only known him for two years but I’ve never seen him like this. I didn’t know him when everything went down with Steffani but he told me and Andy about it.”

  It made me wonder which version of the story he had told them—the lie he told me or the truth. That sent little waves of anger through my body. Sawyer had a way of bringing out every emotion in me.

  “He’s dated other women since he and Andy started getting close. Quite a few actually. But nothing too serious. Until he met you. Or met you again, I guess is a better way of putting it. Something happened to him when the two of you started dating.”

  “We never dated,” I corrected.

  She furrowed her brow and confusion etched her face. “I thought you went out with him.”

  “We did go out but it wasn’t a date. Sawyer told me he didn’t want to date me. He never wanted to date me.” I knew my words sounded a little bitterer than I intended but it did kind of piss me off.

  “I don’t understand,” she said.

  I shrugged. “That makes two of us.”

  I was a little taken aback when Mya grabbed my hand. “I can see that you’re not happy with him right now but he’s truly miserable and I’m worried about him. He has dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in a week. Sometimes, I think he’s been going to bed in his clothes and not even bothering to change because they look so rumpled. But the worst thing is the mood swings. He’s been sullen and withdrawn one minute and then he snaps and gets angry the next. He’s been this way since you and Jude got together.”

  I noticed the same thing when Sawyer caught me outside the lab. He had looked like shit. From what Mya said, it sounded like things had gotten worse.

  “I’m not really with Jude,” I admitted. I wasn’t even sure why he even wanted to see me again.

  “Do you like Sawyer?” Mya stared at me, her gaze intense and serious.

  I nodded.

  “Do you love him?” I was a little taken aback by the question, not only because I was surprised she asked but also because I had never actually considered it. All of the feelings I had toward him, all of the emotions he brought out in me, I had never labeled it as love.

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted.

  “Well, Sawyer loves you. He’s absolutely crazy about you. And it’s killing him to know you’re with another man.”

  I could feel tears welling up. The last thing I wanted to do was cry. I tried to blink them away but it didn’t work. They started streaming down my face. I removed my hand from Mya’s and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand.

  “If Sawyer wants me so much, if he loves me, why did he push me away? Why did he practically throw me into Jude’s arms?”

  Mya waited until I looked back up at her. She gave me a warm half-smile. “Because he wants you to choose him.”

  All kinds of thoughts began to swirl around in my head. “I feel like he’s playing some kind of game.” I could feel bile rising in my throat. “That he wants to get back at Jude for taking Steffani and he’s using me to do it.”

  Mya shook her head. “No, I don’t think that’s it at all. Well, maybe there’s a little bit of that. But it’s much deeper than that. I think Sawyer really wanted to give you a choice. He let you go to see if you’d come back to him. To see if you really care about him, maybe even love him. He wanted to know if you wanted someone able-bodied instead of him. He wanted you to have that choice.”

  “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

  Mya laughed. “Maybe to you and me it is but put yourself in Sawyer’s shoes. Steffani broke his heart when she left him. And the only reason she left him was because of the chair. She couldn’t deal with it. I don’t understand her feelings, obviously, I’m married to a guy in chair, but I respect them. Everyone has to do what’s right for them. I guess it was better for her to leave him than to stay just out of obligation or guilt. I’ve seen that happen with some guys and it sucks. The girls end up treating them like dirt. Sawyer needs to know that you want him, that you choose him, chair and all.”

  “Honestly, I don’t really care about the wheelchair,” I said. “It took some time to get used to, I’ll admit that. But now I don’t even really notice it that much. What I can’t take is the emotional yo-yo. He went after me with so much veracity. He called it a full court press. And then he just stopped. After I found out the truth about Steffani, everything changed.”

  “I know he wants you,” Mya says. “He’s hurting right now because he thinks you’re really into Jude and it’s killing him. And not just because it’s Jude. It’s because he wants you. He’s always wanted you and I think he probably always will want you.”

  “I’m not into Jude at all.”

  “Really,” she said. “Not even a little bit?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve seen Jude?”

  She nodded. “He’s hot.” Sh
e held up her ring finger. “I’m happily married. Completely and totally in love with Andy. But I can admire from afar.”

  We both laughed. “Jude is cute,” I said. “But he’s definitely not Sawyer.”

  “So what are you going to do?” Mya asked.

  “What do you suggest I do?” I asked.

  “Just let Sawyer know that you choose him. That’s all he wants. He wants to know that he’s the one.”

  I nodded. There was little doubt in my mind that Sawyer was the one. I just needed to find a way to convince him of that.

  ***

  I phoned Larry and told him I wasn’t going to make it to rehearsal. He had given me his number in case I ever wanted to get together to do some extra work when the others weren’t rehearsing. Like that would ever happen. I was sure he wasn’t thinking I’d use his number to cancel out on him.

  “You’re not coming to the theater tonight?” Larry sounded completely distraught.

  “I’m going to stop by Summer’s house to see if I can talk to her and her brother. Maybe I can convince them to bring Summer back to the theater again, so she can help out.”

  It wasn’t a complete lie. I was planning on talking to Summer and Sawyer, just not about the theater. But the outcome might lead to Summer coming back, so I didn’t feel too badly about the little white lie.

  “You’d do that?” Larry sounded a little more hopeful.

  “Of course. Do you have Summer’s number?” The real reason I phoned.

  I waited while Larry found her number and he repeated it to me.

  “Thanks, Larry. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  ***

  Summer sounded surprised when I phoned. I thought she might hang up on me but she didn’t.

  “What do you want?” Summer asked. Her tone definitely wasn’t friendly.

  “Can you give me your address? I’d like to come by and talk to Sawyer.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line and I thought maybe she did decide to hang up after all. “Summer?”

  “How did you get my phone number?”

  “Larry gave it to me. He really wants you to come back to the theater. He needs your help.”

  “He doesn’t really need me. He’s just being nice.”

  “You’re wrong,” I replied. “He does need you. He’s actually been a little desperate without you there.”

  “Really?” She sounded surprised.

  “Really.”

  She gave me her address and told me that Sawyer hadn’t been going to basketball practice either. He’d been calling in sick. “He told him he had the flu,” she said. “He doesn’t have the flu. He’s love sick. That’s his problem.”

  The way Summer said love sick, I knew she was taking a little jab at me. I knew she blamed me for everything that Sawyer was going through. Part of me wanted to tell her that a lot of it Sawyer brought on himself. But I knew she idolized her big brother and I didn’t want her to ever think any less of him.

  “I’ll be over in about an hour. Is that okay?”

  “Sure. Do you want me to tell him you’re coming by?”

  “No, I want it to be a surprise.”

  The address Summer gave me was only about ten minutes from my apartment. I should have realized that Sawyer would live fairly close; we did go to the same high school together. And my apartment was fairly close to my parents’ house.

  The Reed’s house didn’t look that much different than my parents’ house. It was a typical Arizona one-story in a upper middle class subdivision surrounded by houses that were nearly identical to it except for the little façade changes and front yard plantings that gave the home owners a little bit of uniqueness amongst the sameness of suburban sprawl.

  I could feel my heart start to race as I pulled into the drive way. My mind was racing and I knew I had to get myself under control. Sawyer would be glad to see me, wouldn’t he? But what if he wasn’t? What if he pushed me away again? I wasn’t sure I could handle that.

  I wouldn’t let him this time. I was going to do what Mya suggested. I was going to choose Sawyer.

  Taking a few deep breaths, I willed myself to be calm. I decided to wear a form fitting sundress my mom had purchased for me but I’d never worn. She did that a lot. She bought me outfits that she thought would be attractive to the opposite sex even though I told her I almost always wore loose fitting sweaters or T-shirts and jeans. Comfort won over style nearly every day of my life.

  But I wanted to look good for Sawyer, so I dragged the dress out of my closet. Now I wondered if I’d made a mistake. Would he think I was trying too hard to impress him? Maybe I really was trying too hard. Maybe this entire idea was a mistake.

  Get a grip, Maggie, I told myself. You’ll never know if things with Sawyer are real unless you go in there and tell him what you came to tell him.

  When I got out of my car, I nearly stumbled up the driveway. I wasn’t used to wearing heels and it took me a moment to steady myself and then walk with the things on my feet. I could already tell the price of looking good was going to be a few blisters and sore feet in the morning.

  I noticed there was pavement, kind of like a little ramp, instead of the typical front entrance to the house. No doubt to make it easier for the wheelchairs to get inside.

  I wiped at a small drop of sweat that had escaped down my temple. I don’t remember the last time I was so nervous. I thought I was scared starting my internship at the lab but that was nothing compared to the fear I was experiencing at the moment.

  I felt like my future hinged on this moment.

  I knocked on the door but when no one answered, I realized my knock wasn’t loud enough, so I pounded a bit harder.

  I’m not sure why I was expecting Summer to come to the door but it wasn’t Summer who answered.

  It was an older woman, maybe mid-fifties, but extremely attractive. She was fit and her blonde hair was in a perfect shoulder length bob. She was wearing Bermuda shorts and a polo shirt. She actually looked like she had just stepped off the golf course.

  She had warm, blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled. “Can I help you?” she asked.

  Obviously Summer hadn’t spilled the beans. I swallowed in an attempt to open my throat a little but I found myself still croaking out my response. “I’m here to see Sawyer.”

  Mrs. Reed’s entire demeanor completely transformed in front of my eyes. Her face completely lit up like I was Santa standing at the door with a bag of Christmas presents. “You must be Maggie.”

  I guess Sawyer talked about me to his family more than I thought because when I nodded, she actually gave me a hug like I was a long lost relative.

  “Come in,” she insisted as she opened the door wider and moved to allow my entrance. “Sawyer will be so excited to see you!”

  She hurried away, I assume to find Sawyer, and I looked around their large living room. My eyes immediately fell on an 8x10 framed photo on an end table. It was Sawyer at his high school graduation. Wearing his cap and gown, he was standing in between his mom and dad.

  Standing. I don’t know why it struck me as strange to see Sawyer standing. I remember very clearly the Sawyer from high school, he was an athlete. I saw him walk and run a lot. But that Sawyer seemed like a completely different person than the Sawyer I knew now—the Sawyer who used a wheelchair.

  It made me wonder if Sawyer ever missed his able-bodied self.

  “He’ll be out in a minute,” I heard Mrs. Reed say as she rejoined me in the living room.

  I gave her a polite smile.

  “Sawyer said you were working with him at the lab. That you were the other recipient of the internship. That’s quite an honor.”

  “I feel very fortunate to have been selected,” I responded.

  “And you’ve been working at the theater with Summer. You’ve certainly got a diversity of interests.”

  I didn’t want to tell her that I wasn’t truly interested in theater. I ordered by the court to be there. That wa
s one thing I was glad that Sawyer never spilled the beans about.

  “Would you like to sit down?” Mrs. Reed offered.

  I nodded and she led me toward an oversized leather couch.

  “Make yourself at home.”

  I sat down and Mrs. Reed sat down on the matching leather chair next to me. I started to feel a little uncomfortable. I had visions of walking into Sawyer’s house and falling into his arms. I wasn’t expecting to have to sit with his mom.

  Time seemed to stand still as Mrs. Reed and I stared at each other.

  “I don’t remember you from Central High. Sawyer said you went to school together. Were you a cheerleader?”

  I nearly choked. No one in high school would have ever mistaken me for a cheerleader. I don’t think I ever even spoke to a cheerleader. I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t a cheerleader. I was a year behind Sawyer. We rode the school bus together.”

  Mrs. Reed looked back toward the hallway and then moved in closer to me. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you came by to see Sawyer. He’s lucky to have someone like you.”

  That was a first. A guy being lucky to have me. I was the one who felt lucky to have someone like Sawyer.

  “We’d love to have you stay for dinner,” Mrs. Reed offered. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to see how things went with Sawyer first.

  Before I could reply, Sawyer rolled over to us. His eyes locked with mine and a wave of emotion overcame me. It was so intense and so overwhelming, I was glad I was sitting down.

  When Sawyer gave me my smile, the one he only used with me, I felt like I was going to melt right into the couch.

  Mrs. Reed’s eyes darted between me and Sawyer and she quickly rose. “I’d better leave the two of you alone.” She bolted out of the living room so quickly, if there had been any dust in the immaculate house, it would have been kicked up behind her.

  Sawyer rolled up closer to me. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” When his eyes met mine, I felt like he was boring into me with his laser intense stare.

  “Do you want me to leave?” I teased.

  He slowly shook his head. “You’re not leaving.”