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  He ran his finger down to my bellybutton and teased it a bit then made his way further down until his hand was between my legs.

  As he slowly moved his fingers inside me, I gasped.

  “Oh, Maggs, those other guys were definitely doing something wrong. You’re so hot and so wet.”

  “It’s just because I’m with you,” I whispered, barely able to speak. I felt like my entire body was connected to Sawyer’s—that he could bend me at will.

  He skillfully moved his fingers in and out and when he added a third, I nearly came unglued.

  “Does that feel good?” he asked as he continued to move his fingers in and out of me.

  “Oh, yes,” I sighed.

  I could feel my entire body begin to quake and I thought I might erupt. Sawyer brought me right to the edge of an orgasm then stopped. “Not yet,” he said with a glint in his eyes. “Get in the bed.”

  I felt like I was half in the room and half in a dream state of overwhelming desire and passion.

  Passion? Was I actually experiencing the overwhelming passion that everyone talks about but I never felt before? All of the hoopla about sex definitely made a lot more sense now.

  I climbed into my bed and waited excitedly as Sawyer transferred from his chair into the bed with me. After he got himself positioned at the head of the bed with me, he removed a packet from his front pants’ pocket and tossed it on the bed next to me.

  A condom.

  I gulped at the sight of it as the reality hit. I was really going to have sex with Sawyer Reed. It was the stuff of many teenage girls’ fantasies, mine included.

  I watched as Sawyer removed his shirt. His arms and chest were absolutely perfect and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on them. Then he wriggled out of his pants and underwear and I was a little taken aback by what I saw.

  He legs were much less muscular than the top half of his body. There had obviously been some atrophy. And he wasn’t hard.

  Every bit of enthusiasm I had was completely drained from me. I hadn’t turned him on at all. Maybe those other guys were right after all…

  When he turned to me, Sawyer must have noticed the sadness that had completely overtaken me.

  “Come here,” he said and patted the bed right next to him.

  I moved so I was cuddled up next to him. He moved his calloused hand softly down my face. “It’s not you, Maggs. You’re beautiful and amazing in every way. Because of my injury, I don’t get hard the way I used to or the way most guys do. I can only get hard through stimulation in that area.”

  I had to think about what he was saying for a minute. And then I realized he needed me to touch him to get an erection. “Oh,” I said, a little embarrassed that I didn’t figure it out more quickly.

  “Also, there are other parts of my body, the upper parts of my body that are a lot more sensitive because I have so much less sensitivity in the lower region. Don’t laugh but if you suck on my nipples, it actually feels like you’re sucking on my dick.”

  I could feel my eyebrows rise up my forehead. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Just in case you’re wondering.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “And one more thing,” he looked over at me and was very serious. “I don’t always ejaculate. I do a lot but not every time. And it takes longer to get to that point than it used to. Most girls don’t seem to have a problem with that, though.” He was grinning.

  I thought about the implications. The guys I had been with in the past were very quick to get in and get out. I wondered what it meant for a guy to stay harder a lot longer. I guessed I was soon going to find out.

  “Enough talking,” he said. The lust had returned to his eyes.

  He grabbed me and pulled me close so he could kiss me.

  And kiss me he did. Ravage would probably be a better word for the way his mouth devoured mine.

  I let out another moan as his hands made their way to my breasts and gave them the attention they craved.

  “I think yours deserve some attention, too,” I whispered.

  He gave me a sexy little half smile as I moved to straddle him. “I like a woman on top,” he joked.

  I placed both of my hands on his hard abs and looked at him. He was so stunning to look at, so mind-blowingly attractive. It was hard not to become completely intoxicated by him. As my hands made their way up his solid chest, he bit his bottom lip. I teased his nipples with my index fingers and watched for his reaction. “Like that?” I asked and he nodded.

  When I bent down and started to flick his nipples with my tongue, he took in a sharp breath. “I guess you like that, too,” I suggested as I glanced up at him through my lashes.

  “Don’t stop,” he moaned, so I continued licking and sucking on his nipples.

  I didn’t stop until he grabbed my shoulders and held me. “I want to make you feel good, too,” he said.

  He moved his hand between my legs and fingered me like he had earlier. This time, when he slipped in a third finger, I nearly hit the roof. “Not yet, Maggs,” he said when he slowly removed his fingers.

  “I need to get ready before we continue.” He moved his hands down toward his cock and started to rub his shaft. “Do you want to help?” His eyes were dancing at the suggestion.

  He didn’t have to ask twice. I took over where his hand had been and began to stroke and caress his cock. It took a little bit of effort on my part but when he got hard, I was impressed with the results of my handiwork.

  “Are you ready, Maggs?” he asked as he moved two fingers into my slick entrance. “You’re definitely ready,” he remarked. I could feel how wet I was and how much I wanted him to be inside me. I felt almost desperate to be filled by him.

  He reached for the condom and ripped the packet open with his teeth. Once he had the condom in place, he grabbed me by the hips and helped me slide onto his erection.

  We both looked at each other for a long moment. It felt like more than just our bodies were connecting; it felt like every part of our beings were connecting with each other.

  “Have you ever been on top before?” he asked.

  I wondered what gave my inexperience away. Or maybe he could already read me so well that he just knew.

  As he guided my hips up and down with his strong hands, he said, “You’re going to have to do most of the work. Just like this.”

  He continued guiding me up and down until I got the rhythm down.

  As I kept working, sliding up and down his shaft, he whispered, “Suck my nipple.”

  I took his suggestion and sucked on his nipple as I continued riding him.

  “Oh, Maggs,” he nearly yelled. “Now go harder.”

  I did as I was told. I rode him hard and fast until I lost myself in the motion, and the intense feeling building deep inside me.

  “Are you ready, Maggs?” Sawyer asked nearly breathless.

  “Yes!” I cried as my entire body tensed. I couldn’t hold back the scream as I experienced the most intense feeling in my life. For a split second, I felt like my consciousness left my body.

  “Keep going,” Sawyer coaxed and my consciousness was back in my body again. I kept moving up and down on top of him until I saw his face tense. “That’s it, Baby. Just hold it there.”

  He grabbed my hips and held me in place for a few seconds. Then he rolled me very slowly up and down his shaft a few more times as his body quaked.

  “Lie down on my chest,” he instructed. “I want to feel your skin on mine.”

  I carefully laid my chest on his. I could feel a little film of sweat between us. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head as he wrapped me in his strong arms.

  “I wish we could stay like this all night,” he said. That surprised me. I didn’t expect him to be a cuddler.

  A few minutes passed as he held me close. I had to admit, I didn’t want the closeness between us to end either.

  “I’m going to need some help to get cleaned up,” Sawyer said. “We’d bette
r take care of the condom.”

  I knew he was right. I didn’t want to have any accidents. He held the condom in place as I climbed off him.

  I hurried into the bathroom and got some tissues and a warm wash cloth. When I returned to the bedroom, I handed the items to Sawyer.

  After he was cleaned up, and I deposited the used condom and tissues, into the trash, Sawyer patted the bed next to him. “You’re too far away all the way over there.”

  I laughed. I was barely a few feet away from him. “Isn’t it the girl who’s supposed to want to get close and bond after sex?”

  He got a little smug grin on his face. “Just because I’m a para, don’t think I can’t grab you and hold you next to me.”

  I stood next to the head of the bed. “I’d like to see that,” I taunted.

  Before I had a chance to even think about it, Sawyer grabbed me and in one swift move, he pulled me down on top of him. I was covering him like a blanket. He placed his arms around me, holding me in place. “That’s more like it. I could get used to this.”

  I had to admit that being in Sawyer’s arms was the place I had longed to be. It felt so comfortable and so right. Kind of like being in the Paleolimnology lab but even better.

  “What are you thinking?” Sawyer asked.

  I heaved a small, comfortable sigh. “How much I love being in your arms.”

  “Then you won’t mind if we just lie here for a while. I love the feel of your breasts on my chest, of your skin touching mine. We fit together perfectly.”

  I felt the same way. I had never felt so comfortable around another person in my life.

  “Do you believe in fate and destiny?” Sawyer asked.

  That stumped me. “I never thought about it before. What’s the difference?”

  He placed a light kiss on my forehead. “I think it was my fate to be in a wheelchair but I think it was our destiny to be together.”

  There was a question I was dying to ask and now was my opportunity. “If you weren’t in a wheelchair, would you have still wanted to be with me?”

  “Of course,” he said without hesitation. “Why would you ask that?”

  “I wasn’t exactly Sawyer Reed material when we were in high school. I wasn’t a blonde cheerleader.”

  I could feel his laugh reverberate through his chest. “You were better than a blonde cheerleader. You were Freaky Four Eyes.”

  I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his eyes. “I’m serious.”

  “So am I,” he said. “I love you Maggie Mitchell. I think I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you sitting on that school bus. And I know now that I’ll always love you. I think we both had some life to live to get to this point but now that we’re together, I hope you realize you’re stuck with me because I’m not letting you go.”

  “I don’t want you to let me go.” I rested my head back down on his chest.

  I could feel Sawyer’s heart beating. I felt comforted by it. “So, have you decided what you’re doing after graduation? Grad school?”

  He snickered. “What else do you do when you study Evolutionary Biology? I didn’t pick up secondary education credentials. I don’t want to teach high school anyway. I like lab work. I want to at least get my Master’s but I’ll probably go straight for the Ph.D. What about you?”

  “Same. Are you going to stay at the university?”

  “Southern Arizona is the perfect climate for a guy in a wheelchair. I never have to worry about snow and it rarely rains.”

  I hadn’t thought about it but it made perfect sense.

  “What about you?” he continued. “Any chance I can talk you into staying? The university has one of the leading Evolutionary Biology programs in the country.”

  “I already put my application in here, so no arm twisting is necessary. But I also applied to a few other schools.” Of course, my applications went in before Sawyer and I got involved. This added another layer to the equation.

  “There’s one thing the university has that those other schools don’t,” he said.

  I already knew what he was going to say but I played along anyway. “Oh, really? What’s that?”

  “Me!”

  I had to laugh at his sales pitch. “You could just ask me to stay.”

  His expression turned serious. “I want to be with you, Maggs. Possibly more than anything in the world. But I don’t want to hold you back from pursuing everything life has to offer. I’m serious about that. If you get a better offer from another school, you should seriously consider it.”

  I knew he was right about everything. “Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll seriously consider all of my options. But I’m not going to lie and tell you that being with you isn’t important, too.”

  “It wouldn’t be life if the choices were easy.”

  I laid my head back down on Sawyer’s chest and thought about everything. I had never been in love before and it colored everything. He was right. Choices were no longer easy. The older I got, the harder life decisions seemed to get. I heaved a sigh and tried to relax. I wouldn’t have to make the decision until I got a few acceptance letters and that was a couple of months away. Until then, I planned on enjoying my time with Sawyer.

  As Sawyer’s breathing slowed, I knew he was drifting off to sleep. I felt exhausted, too, so I allowed myself to drift off with him.

  I was confused because I saw Sawyer standing over me. He towered over me at full height. Why was he standing? He was looking down at me, his expression serious. Then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It felt so different, being in his arms, with him standing, feeling his body pressed up against mine. I was turned on but it also felt wrong—like I was cheating on Sawyer with this other, able-bodied version of him.

  “Maggs,” I heard Sawyer’s voice. “Wake up.”

  I tried to shake off the images of Sawyer standing over me as I opened my eyes and glanced around my bedroom. I was still naked and wrapped in Sawyer’s arms.

  “Did you have a bad dream?” Sawyer asked as he rubbed my back. “You were moaning.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. I felt embarrassed and kind of dirty for thinking about being with Sawyer sans wheelchair. That wasn’t who he was anymore. It wasn’t who he would ever be again. And it wasn’t who I fell in love with.

  “Please tell me what you were dreaming.” There was concern in his voice.

  “Don’t get mad,” I prefaced and I could feel his upper body tighten.

  “Whatever it is, please just say it. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, okay?”

  I swallowed then said, “Fine. I dreamed about you standing over me. You weren’t in your wheelchair. You were still able-bodied. And you pulled me close and you kissed me.”

  I braced myself for his reaction and was surprised when he laughed. “Oh, Maggs. I have dreams like that all the time. I dream that I’m running. Playing football. Dancing. Hiking. Walking hand-in-hand with you. And I’ve even dreamed about standing over you and kissing you. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Do you ever wish you could walk again? That you could do all those things that you’ve dreamed about?”

  “Right after the accident happened, I wished it didn’t. It took me some time to come to terms with my new life and everything it meant. I guess I’m fine with it now.”

  I inched up the bed so that I could place a soft kiss on Sawyer’s cheek. “I just want you to know that I love you, Sawyer Reed. I love everything about you. I was infatuated with who you were in high school but I’m in love with the person you’ve become.”

  He put his lips to mine and kissed me gently. I deepened the kiss and we started making out again until I heard a rumbling in Sawyer’s stomach.

  We both laughed.

  “Weren’t you supposed to make me dinner?” he said.

  I extricated myself from Sawyer. “We kind of got a little side tracked, didn’t we?”

  “How long will it take to make?” Sawyer asked as he shifted himself in the
bed.

  “Maybe forty-five minutes.”

  He grinned. “Want to order a pizza instead?”

  I patted his stomach. “Can’t wait?”

  He grinned. “We burned a lot of calories.”

  “I don’t want you to starve,” I teased. “I’ll place the order. Pepperoni okay?”

  “Another reason why I love you. Excellent pizza selection.”

  I gathered his clothes and handed them to him. “I guess you didn’t know I could read your mind.”

  He laughed. “Okay, smart ass. “What am I thinking now?”

  “That after we eat the pizza, you want to get back into bed for Round Two.”

  He feigned surprise. “You really can read my mind.”

  Nine

  I was hoping Jude wouldn't notice me when I quietly entered the theater but no such luck. He seemed to have this sixth sense because he immediately turned and fixed his gaze on me. I was glad there was so much distance between us, him being onstage and me near the back of the theater. I was also glad that he was rehearsing because he had so much desire in his eyes, it actually sacred me a little bit. Helen said something to him, which I couldn't quite make out and then he turned to the other two guys onstage, who were in the scene with him.

  Helen gave me a wave of acknowledgement and I went in search Larry. I found him standing next to the lighting board, with Summer seated in her wheelchair next to him.

  As soon as Summer saw me her face lit up. I was glad that she had finally warmed up to me. I guess seeing me and Sawyer together helped.

  “Maggie!" Summer said. "I'm glad you're back."

  "I'm glad you're back," I countered. "I'm sure Larry is glad, too."

  "I'm glad to have both of your help," Larry said. "Now we have some work to do on these lighting cues. They're a mess."

  An hour later, I felt exhausted. Larry definitely had very specific ideas about how he wanted the lighting for the show and would settle for nothing less than perfection. It made me wonder what his home looked like. I imagined that he was one of those obsessive people who kept everything orderly and hated when something was out of place.